Dear a,
It's been 18 days already that we haven't communicated each other since the day (Fri, October 13, 2017) I asked you about the month that we planned to marry because there was a friend of "somebody" asked whether or not he could be so close. I told you first because I wanted to answer him that I had Planned to marry you in "that month" (only if you had confirmed) so that his friend would not asked me the same question like what he does recently. But, do you still remember what you said? "emang neng mau?" and that's not the answer I expected. It's like you tied me and were sure that I would not leave you for any reasons. Yah, you DID know the exact answer that I would NOT leave you, but you should not say it. It hurt me so much. I was angry at that time. You thought that I could not be happy without you (even I knew that you were right!). How could it happen again and again every time I told you the same?
Did you know that to reach what we want, we must have a plan, EVEN a marriage. Marriage is not something that people can do it tomorrow without any preparation. If we have a plan to marry next year, let's make a plan, even it is only to mention the month. "Neng, I told you that I'll marry you next year. I've told to my parents" Then, will you make this statement as an excuse? Okay. I know that you seriously want to be together with me next year (Let's say it December 31, 2018 so you have very loooong time to do (no)thing - like the previous ONES - LOL), but yaaaahh ..
___Speechless___
A, I am dreaming of being a woman who can fully support my man to be the great one, NOT the ordinary one because I believe that there will always be a great woman behind the great man. Do you think that the great man will just do something without a concrete plan? What I want to say is that DO NOT be afraid of doing something, moreover for making a plan. It's just A plan. You must have told me "the month" if you wanted to at that time. Although it was only a lie, I'd be happy😊 I knew that you needed telling your parents to prepare everything, and me too. Not just you. Let's do it together! But, you could not even make me sure towards your words. It's not the first time. Do you also remember about your other promises, one of which was that you would come to Surabaya. Do you still remember how many times you changed your mind even I promised to help you? It was all nonsense! That's why I'm tired of following your desire.
Honestly, I make a promise to chat you back if you chat me for three times. But, why you let me wait until now? Maybe you'll ask, "why must you wait for me? Why don't you chat me first?"😊 Sorry, but I think you've changed. Last time when you came home from Jakarta, you also did it. Although I called you many times, you just felt like "I only think about home and never remember about you, that's why I have no time to call you". Yah, YOU HAD NO TIME ALONG 3 DAYS 😊 If you were me, you probably though the way I was thinking at that time.
Last night, when both of us were online, I did expect that you'd call me. I waited and waited, but you did nothing until I decided to closed it. Unfortunately! Now, I just want to live my life, everyday think about you, but nothing to do. I love and miss you 💗 But, there are still some couple of days that we may not regret in the next years. So, hopefully, you can give answer on the last day of this year when we already made a promise: tell me or leave me😊
Surabaya, October 31, 2017
